


The One Where Everybody Finds Out

by WrittenByMe_C



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Attempted Seduction, Awkward Flirting, Enjolras Has Feelings, Established Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M, Relationship Reveal, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27024262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenByMe_C/pseuds/WrittenByMe_C
Summary: Eponine is determined to get Enjolras and Grantaire to admit they're sleeping together, Enjolras is in major Gay Panic Mode, and Grantaire is finding it all far too amusing.~Based off of the episode in Friends where Pheobe tries to seduce Chandler.
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	The One Where Everybody Finds Out

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for secret relationships, can you tell?

"Yes, yes! You should, uh, come over then." Enjolras nodded into the phone, shooting Grantaire a distressed look. Grantaire shrugged with a small smirk and a shake of his head. Enjolras had gotten himself into this mess, he could get himself out of it. He heard Eponine's voice on the other end of the line get lower and judging by the redness of Enjolras' cheeks she'd said something positively scandalous. It took every ounce of willpower for Grantaire not to burst out laughing. Enjolras put the phone down with a huff.

"Are you sure about this? She'll be here soon." Enjolras' teeth worked at the nail of his thumb like it was a three-course meal and he hadn't eaten in weeks.

"Apollo, she won't do anything." Grantaire rolled his eyes, gently pulling Enjolras' hand away from his mouth and stroking the back of it gently. "She probably knows that we know that she knows."

"But-"

"Nope." Grantaire said, standing up from the sofa and dragging Enjolras up with him. "No buts. Buts are not allowed. Well, some butts are; the kind with two T's. But that's not the point."

"Well, what is the point then?" Enjolras asked, rolling his own eyes fondly at Grantaire's tangent.

"The point is-" There was a knock on the door. Enjolras stiffened and Grantaire squeezed his hands in reassurance. He lowered his voice, leaned in to whisper in Enjolras' ear, "The point is: I'm going to hide, you're going to get rid of her, and afterwards we're going to have hot secret sex for hours. Okay?”

Before Enjolras could even process what Grantaire had said, the bathroom door was clicking shut and the front door was shaking under the weight of Eponine's impatient knock. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

"H-hello, hi, 'ponine." Enjolras stuttered out. His usual stoic attitude being overrun by the nerves jolting through his veins. He didn't like this.

"I brought wine. Want some?" Eponine waved the bottle in the air as she pushed past him and into the apartment. He closed the door and followed her over to the counter, grateful for the open plan living of his apartment allowing him space if he needed it. He nodded, perhaps too eagerly, and they both downed a glass. Enjolras could have sworn he could hear Grantaire chastising them about savouring the taste but at Eponine's blank look he knew it was just in his head.

"Nervous?" Eponine asked, pouring more wine.

"Me? No." Yes. "You?"

"No. I want this to happen." They both downed another glass. "Music?"

Right, music. Grantaire had, through a fit of laughter, already set up the sound system for him so all Enjolras had to do was walk over and hit play. He still managed to mess it up though.

"Oh. It's not working." Enjolras turned, ready to apologise for his blunder, but his mind short-circuited slightly at the sight of Eponine standing right behind him with her shirt partially unbuttoned. Enjolras panicked slightly and Eponine must have seen it in his eyes as she raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at him.

"Problem?" She asked, confident as ever.

"Not at all." Enjolras said quickly. "Bedroom?"

He didn't know why he said that, because that wasn't part of the plan, but luckily Eponine paused in her leering to stutter out a 'really?’

"Unless you've changed your mind?" Enjolras prayed that she had. He stepped forward in what he hoped was an intimidating manner to get her to back off. It seemed to do the opposite; closing the distance between them enough that Eponine could reach a hand up and drag a pointed nail down the side of his face. Enjolras preferred the bluntness of Grantaire's.

"No. We'll get there, eventually. But first..." Eponine paused, for dramatic effect or because she was thinking on the spot, Enjolras couldn’t tell; either way, he squirmed under her intense gaze. "I'd like a massage. Do you have lotion?"

"Massage?" Eponine nodded, that perfect eyebrow of hers raised again. Enjolras cleared his throat, "That would be nice. I'll go get the- the lotion."

He turned and hurried to the bathroom, closing the door behind him with perhaps too much force.

"Jeez, Enj, you nearly gave me a heart attack." Grantaire said, gritting his teeth to stop himself from speaking too loudly.

"Sorry but this is-" Enjolras cut himself off and looked around the small room. "How on earth have you made such a mess?"

Grantaire grinned, proud of the fact that in the past ten minutes he'd managed to completely empty out Enjolras' medicine cabinet and spill at least three different cleaning products in the bath all without alerting Eponine to his presence. "I got bored."

"You got- okay, not the time. She wants me to get lotion. For a massage. And I've seen her bra." Enjolras practically squeaked out. He ran his hands through his hair frustratedly and looked at Grantaire with wide eyes.

Grantaire stifled a laugh, "She's bluffing."

"Bluffing?" Enjolras hissed, trying to keep the volume low. "'Taire, this is going too far - she won't back down."

"She is bluffing." Grantaire said, punctuating each word his a peck on Enjolras' lips. The blond relaxed considerably and didn't even glare at the bottle of lotion Grantaire pressed into his hands. "And if she's not then I will forever be bitter that she got a massage from you before I did."

Okay, Enjolras was glaring again. He left the bathroom after another kiss was pressed to his lips and returned to find Eponine by the front door.

"Are you leaving?" Enjolras asked, trying not to let the hope shine through his voice too much. Eponine turned and pushed her back against the door, her hair fanning out wildly - not unlike the look in her eyes. Enjolras was tempted to run back into the bathroom.

He placed the lotion on the coffee table – with it out of the way maybe she would forget all about the massage idea – as Eponine stepped forward slowly, "Not without what I came here for." She reached Enjolras and placed a hand on his chest. He knew his heart was beating erratically and he hoped that she assumed it was from nerves about being with her and not the fear that it was going too far. He just wanted her to leave. He just wanted her to be Grantaire. "I'm going to kiss you now, Enjolras."

Her hand snaked up, over his neck and into his hair, and she pushed her body against his. He took a deep breath and placed his hands on her waist.

"Not if I... kiss you first." He suspected that the muffled laugh he heard coming from the bathroom wasn't his imagination that time.

"Well, our first kiss." Eponine said quietly. "Here it comes."

Enjolras was stiff as Eponine pushed up onto the tips of her toes and pressed their lips together. He didn't like this. He really didn't like this. Her lips were cold and smooth; the opposite of the chapped hotness he'd grown accustomed to over the past few months. His heart ached at the thought of Grantaire and he pushed Eponine away from him with a splutter.

"Okay, fine! You win! You win!" He practically shouted at her, holding his arms out to keep her from coming at him again, just in case. "I can't do this; I can't sleep with you!"

"And why not?" Enjolras barely registered the grin spreading across Eponine's face.

"Because I'm in love with Grantaire!" He said loudly, hurriedly, honestly. He froze, like a deer in the headlights, as both the bathroom and the front door swung open at his confession. Eponine's face dropped in shock as Combeferre and Courfeyrac – who must have been waiting outside, the bastards – stood either side of her sporting confused and astonished expressions themselves. Grantaire stumbled out of the bathroom and all eyes shifted to him.

"You're what?" He asked quietly, not believing he'd heard correctly through the door. Enjolras turned to him and couldn't help the smile that blossomed over his face.

“I- I'm in love with you." Enjolras reached out and pulled Grantaire close. "I love you, Grantaire."

Grantaire let out a shuddering breath and pressed their foreheads together. "I love you too, Enjolras."

The kiss they shared was passionate; their bodies getting impossibly closer and their hearts beating in sync. They pulled apart gently when they heard multiple throats being cleared. Turning back to their friends they weren’t as surprised as they should have been to see the rest of the Amis had arrived, piling into Enjolras' apartment like it was their own. They all stared at how Grantaire and Enjolras were tangled together with varying degrees of shock plastered on their faces. All of them apart from Feuilly, that is, who had caught them in the shower of his and Grantaire's shared flat a little over two months ago. (A moment that Enjolras still went red thinking about).

"I thought you guys were just banging, I didn't know you were in love!" Eponine said with a smile.

"Uh, Ep, your boobs are still out." Grantaire said with a laugh. Eponine stuck her middle finger up at him and actually undid her shirt even more, causing Grantaire to let out another bark of laughter. Enjolras looked at him, his heart fluttering at the sound and the realisation that he _could_ look at him with this much love now. No more hiding.

"Enjy," Courfeyrac breathed out, tears forming in his eyes as he looked at how in love his best friend was. "I'm so happy for you."

The rest of the Amis agreed with varying volume and enthusiasm and moved further into the apartment, settling in their usual spots. Enjolras smiled brightly at Courfeyrac and Combeferre, the latter nodding earnestly in accord with the former’s statement.

"Coffee?" Grantaire asked the room at large, receiving a thumbs up from everyone bar Jehan who quietly asked for tea instead. Enjolras followed Grantaire through to the kitchen, trying to get whatever privacy they could in the open space.

Grantaire flicked the kettle on and pulled out a mug for everyone then settled with his back to the counter. Enjolras stood in front of him, slotting perfectly between his legs. Their friends politely kept to the living area of the apartment but made no attempts at pretending they weren't watching them out the corner of their eyes.

"Sorry," Enjolras said, placing his hands on Grantaire's waist. He much preferred Grantaire's strong softness to the bony curves of Eponine. "I didn't mean to cave like that."

Grantaire lifted his hands to Enjolras' hips, tucking his fingers into his belt loops and pulling him closer. "Apollo, I really don't care right now. You _love_ me."

"I do." They looked at each other with dopey grins and Enjolras bent down slightly to close the tiny distance between them once more with a chaste peck. The kettle boiled behind Grantaire and the artist groaned and moved his head to Enjolras' shoulder.

"How soon do you think we could kick them out of here?" Grantaire asked, placing a small kiss on Enjolras' collarbone and squeezing his hips. Enjolras jolted slightly, causing Grantaire to grin wickedly.

"You're the one that offered them coffee." Enjolras said with a smirk, pulling back from Grantaire and moving around him to help with the drinks. They made quick work of it; Enjolras adding the coffee (and sugar when required), Grantaire pouring the water. They were quiet as they did so, and when a bit of boiling water seemingly bounced off of Jehan’s teabag and splashed onto Enjolras' hand, Grantaire dragged him over to the sink and forced it under cold water. Enjolras tried to protest, claiming it was nothing, but Grantaire shut him up with yet another kiss.

"They're so sickeningly domestic already." Eponine said with an amused shudder. Joly, Courf, Marius, and Cosette all sighed happily for their friends whilst the rest of them nodded along with Eponine’s mock disgust.

"You don't know the half of it." Feuilly's sigh was met with a chorus of indignant shouts and questions demanding how long he'd known. The pillow that Bahorel threw at him narrowly missed knocking the tray of mugs out of Enjolras’ hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a kudos and a comment :)
> 
> I reply to every comment so if you have any questions/want any ~secret headcanons~ surrounding this fic then let me know! 
> 
> <3


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